Ouch.

Stair steps.  Who likes them?  Not very many people.  Perhaps people in the athletic field or small children like steps, but I'm guessing most people don't like climbing stairs.  I know I don't.  This past weekend I climbed approximately 832 stair steps.  All of these stairs led to different areas of attraction, mostly waterfalls or great lookouts of Lake Superior.  I had never thought of this before but there are many different types of stairs out there.  Some stairs were made out of stone, while others were carved out of what looked like huge logs.  Some were really steep and others were just a gradual ascent or descent.  Although many of these stairs had extremely different character they all had something in common: they all led to a destination.  

Now climbing these stairs was not an easy task.  I recall several times having to pull to the side to catch my breath and wipe an occasional sweat bead off of my forehead.  It was quite the difficult climb and I knew I had to focus on something to keep me going.  As I struggled up the stairs I began to force myself to focus on one thing to keep me going.    I couldn't give up because of the "reward" I would receive in the end (i.e. a great view, a chance to breathe, a sip of water).  With each step I took my thoughts became more and more intense.   I began to think of crazy things.. like music, how waterfalls worked, what I would say to my youth group during our devo time.  Those didn't really keep me going.  I got bored.   And then I started to concentrate on the pain I was experiencing (i.e. calves burning, muscles tightening, feet aching) which was the worst thing I could do.   

After putting a lot of thought into those silly things I had an awakening about midway up my first set of stairs.  STEPS!  Every day is a step.  Well, duh.  Of course every day is a step.   A step in time.. it's common knowledge.   But there was so much more to it than that.  Let me elaborate.

Ok.  So you got your steps.  These steps are in my backyard.   Yeah, they're yours now.   These steps are made out of wood and stone.  They are not perfect.  They were built by my dad, who by the way is a great creator, but no one is perfect.  The steps in my back yard are huge- you have to take a really big "step" to get to the next one.   And obviously no two steps are the same.  Does that ring a bell?  LIFE.. each step we take is literally and metaphorically a step.  Ok, I'm confusing myself now. ...

Some of the steps we take in life are going to be hard.  Really hard.   Our knees will tense up and we will definitely feel like we can't go on any further.   Other times the steps will instead go downwards instead of up and we will be relieved.   Some times there will be places on the way up to stop and take a break.  And sometimes the steps will be blocked off and we will have to find another way to get to the top.   God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.   

1 Corinthians 10:13 says "All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it."  He is with us EVERY step of the way.  He never lets go of us!  Sure, life is painful.   Our knees will tense up.  We will get sweaty and thirsty for more.   But he is always with us.  Through all of that.  Every step we take.  

Sometimes its really hard to remember that during the really difficult steps.  Say your dad dies unexpectedly (just happened to a good friend of mine this weekend-god bless her).  You lose your faith.  Why would God choose my dad to die?  One of the crazy mysteries about God (for another blog). ...  Guess what?  You leave God.  But does He leave you?  Nope.  Never.  Because through His promise to never leave us and through His son we will NEVER be alone.  He takes up permanent residence in our hearts.   How amazing is that. 

He is there to comfort us...  when you just can't climb any more.  2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says "So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." God wants to guide us because His love for us is so immensely great.   So for once let's let God be the captain.   Let him be the compass in your life and you will be rewarded in the end.  Keep your focus on Him and you will arrive at your destination.   

Help yourself.  

I dip, you dip.

Matthew 6:34 says "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." This is something I have been pondering for quite some time. Our world, America in particular, seems to be moving so fast. Gotta go here, gotta do this, gotta see this person, gotta buy this.. it never ends. We are constantly moving. I'm constantly moving! Sometimes I feel like I'm on auto pilot. I just press a button and bam my day goes by in a flash. Sometimes I don't even remember driving to work in the morning (now that is scary.) Sometimes I'll have a conversation with someone and completely forget I even talked to them an hour later. I'm so focused on what I need to do next, what I need to get done, and where I need to go next.

I have always been like this.. I spread myself way too thin. It would be a lot easier if things didn't bother me. I wish I was a "go-with-the-flow" sort of person, but I'm not. It has definitely been a struggle of mine. I try to please everyone but sometimes when you have so many things to do its hard to make everyone happy. I find myself so many times focusing on things that I really shouldn't be focusing on. I worry all the time. It runs in my family.. but I don't think that is an excuse. Give your ENTIRE attention to what God is doing now. ENTIRE. Do you know what that means? I like to think I do .. but entire?

Now I have had plenty of up's and down's in my faith. There have been times where I have been completely on top of my game. Praying all the time, having a pretty intense relationship with God-- my focus was dead on. And God blessed me during these times. I asked, He gave. Seriously. Prayer is SO powerful .. but that's another story. But there have also been plenty of times when I have been lower than low.. not praying and definitely not listening to what God was trying to tell me.

My journey has definitely been a rollercoaster. I start going uphill.. getting back in the swing of things, getting higher and higher and seeing even more great things, then I get to the top and its awesome, but then I lose focus, I fall down. It's constantly like that for me. What would happen if we could be more like a train? or a monorail? If we could put our ENTIRE focus on what God is doing for us. If we could just open our ears and our eyes and LISTEN to what He is telling us all the time. Not just at the top of the rollercoaster, but at ALL times. Don't worry about tomorrow, God will take care of it. He has a plan for all of us, He really does.

Some people put their faith in other people. Some people put their faith in substances. Some people put their faith in money. The list goes on and on. Put your ENTIRE faith in God. Try it. Open your ears. Listen. Open your eyes. See. See what He's doing in other people's lives, your life. Hear what God is telling you .. it could be something extraordinary! You may think that He's not there, but He's been with you your whole life and will continue to lead you the rest of the way. Trust in that.

I have nothing to write about. My life is boring. All I do is work and sleep and occasionally go on my computer. So I really don't have anything exciting to talk about. It is really quite stupid! Right now I am at work. All of my coworkers are in a meeting. I just heard them talking about me. That's cool. Ha. I hate Wednesdays. Always have, always will. It would be perfect if there was one more day in the week. This day would have special rules though.. nothing could be planned for this day.. no one (except for people that matter to you) could call you, and you would never be obliged to do ANYTHING. Just a day to catch up, relax, read your favorite Rob Bell book, and play music. Sounds perfect to me. Some day..

I'm going camping on Saturday! For four days! With my youth group! A while ago the guy that planned the trip (one of the dads) told me that I would be in charge of all the devotionals. At the time its seemed like no problem. However this was months ago and I had plenty of time to plan! Well guess who forgot all about it until last night? Me! And guess who has no time between now and Saturday? Me! Guess who's really stupid!? ME! I'm such a procrastinator.. it's beginning to really bug the crap out of me! Why am I writing in this stupid thing.. I should be planning!

Yep!

words, words, words!

currently reading these.   Excited to finish.. hopefully I can do that before school starts up.  Don't ruin it for me!  

what me and ben folds have in common:

gracie girl!  

if you love her, let her go.

Ah, the sweet smell of Sunday evenings...  My weekend was quite pleasant, probably the most relaxed weekend I have had since Christmas break.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't anything special... I really did nothing.  But it was nice to just catch up on my sleep and rejuvinate a bit.  Friday night I was so bored I went to bed at 10:00 pm and woke up the next morning at 11:30.   Yeah, that felt good.  I awoke to the sound of my mom vacuuming (for those of you who don't know there is a giant hole in my wall but that is another story).   I knew that I had to get my butt out of bed so I could start cleaning because we had company coming over in two hours (they were going to stay in my bedroom.)  My room is always a giant disaster.  A giant, beautiful disaster.  I find it beautiful because I can find anything I'm looking for when my room is messy.  However when it is "spick and span" clean I can't find anything.   Anyway since I willfully gave up my room to our guests I packed up my essentials for sleeping as I cleaned up my room.   These essentials were my two pillows (which somehow were given to the son of our two guests ... and then I made my brother wake him up to get them from him and we gave him different pillows-- I'm terrible, I know!)  my clothes for the next day (had to get up early for church) my down comforters (yes "s")  my cell phone charger (duh) and last but not least (actually the most important) my fan.   

Now here's the story about my fan:  thanks to Luther Crest Bible Camp I am and forever will be addicted to sleeping with a fan on which, by all means, is no problem for me.  I find the sound very soothing; it eases my mind and gets those songs out of my head so I can fall asleep peacefully.  About mid-May of this year I came across a really cute fan at target for a fairly cheap price.  It's very small (perfect for traveling.) and it is stainless steal (only the best, right?)  Well when I brought it home I just decided to never turn it off.   Worst decision of my life.   But that's just one extra thing to do in the morning.   Well, needless to say I paid for this decision.  When I went to unplug my fan I noticed that it was EXTREMELY dusty (yeah, gross.)  so I cleaned it off.   

Fast forward to last night ... I didn't actually use my fan because I thought there was enough noise in the living room to ease my mind.  Fast forward to one hour ago.... I plug in my fan, it doesn't work.  Like at all.  Fast forward to now... I feel air blowing on my toes.  Could this be?? no.... I put my hand out and feel a cool breeze.  No freeaking way .. my fan works.  THANK YOU.  I just spent all this time writing about nothing.... ahhhhhhhhh.   

this makes up for it    :)

Congrats, Mr. Eric Hutchinson, you made it on Jon and Kate Plus 8.  Way to freakin go!   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XPUJ9AVx5Q

more music to share.

yeah, so I created this because I want to share awesome music with the world.  LOL (or just tyler and dave.)   

Here are my current cravings or in other words what I've been listening to the past couple of days: 

Jukebox the Ghost.   AMAZING band from DC.. I believe there are three of them (keyboard, guitar, drums).  They've got this new sound that I've been liking so much.  I'm not sure how to describe it.. feel-good, poppy, nonsense?  Who knows.  All I know is that it gets my toes a tapping and I'm hooked and I can't stop staring. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIJTDwyQw5Y

Like always:  THE FORMAT.   I've been obsessed for about a year.  Not a big deal.  Too bad they broke up.  UGH.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m3GlmJDJtY

Ben Folds.   Everyone knows Ben.   I'm going to see him play with the MN orchestra on Halloween (Dave I still owe you money).   Lately I've been listening to "the Bens"  .. Ben Lee, Ben Folds, and Ben Kweller.  Pure Bliss.   Here ya go:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-pkkF9e76U&feature=PlayList&p=8834EEA61B70CCB4&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=32

P.S. .. is that a melodica?  

And of course Nickel Creek.   I've been listening to them since like the 4th grade and I'm still going strong.  They broke up too.  SAD.  But they've all got a bunch of new bands.. which I'm going to check out more in detail later.   The thing I like about them is they don't like to classify themselves as "bluegrass" but "progressive" .. or something.  Either way, they are one heck-of-a band.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nneEIX59I8

More to come.   I think its about that time.  (sleep).  

bye.  

People get ready..

Today I had a conversation with Dave about "Christian" music. We both decided that neither of us like the generic stuff on the radio (but then again, who does). Lately I've been on the search for "good" christian music. Music that is intelligent, passionate and well, music that sounds good to my ears. So far I have found nothing. An occasional Bethany Dillon song will keep me happy.. but I haven't came across any thing that I can actually stand listening to for long periods of time.

Anywho, about midway through my conversation with Dave I find this website: ipickmynose.com and am instantly intriuged. It was actually what inspired me to create this blog. Whowuddathunk.

I began to listen to some of the songs posted.. nothing fabulous but worth listening to more. I scrolled down to the middle of the page and found the gospel section. Now, I am usually not one for gospel (even though I LOVE Jesus...) but since we were on the topic of searching for good Christian music I decided to give it a try. Much to my surprise I was instantly rewarded by the "big mama tone" of Shirley Ann Lee. There is so much conviction in her voice.. and I love the blue-sy tone. There IS a light in my life shining over me! Excellent. And as I listened to the other songs posted I was even more blown away. Sam Cooke's "Were You There" was so different than the common hymn I grew up singing in my church. The soul is so soothing!

Thank you ipickmynose for this brilliant music! In the meantime I will keep searching. And if YOU happen to come across any good Christian music I would definitely appreciate you sharing. Not that anyone will read this. ..
http://blog.ipickmynose.com/